Tuesday, June 18, 2013
My husband never ceases to astonish me. He is very patient kind and loving.
We had been to a barbecue on Sunday. In the early hours of Monday morning I awoke with a very bad case of the shakes. And the sheiks are very violent shivering and they hurt. I woke up and he held me until they stopped. The next time I woke he wasn't in bed. It was late. He had done what was necessary to do with the dogs including feeding the puppies. He then came upstairs with my drugs draw and woke me up and told me I needed to take my drugs. He had also thought to bring up four bottles of flavoured water. Once I had taken my drugs I just went back to sleep again.
I eventually got up at 6 PM and he was there with both my walking sticks and his hands on my elbows because I was very wobbly and kept falling over or rather would have fallen over had he not got hold of me.
He brought me down and sat me in front of the TV and made me a coffee. He asked me if I wanted to eat or rather told me that I should eat so to appease him I hate some ham and a piece of cheese. Within a couple of hours I had gone back to bed.
John has had to put up with me and my health problems for many years now and he never complains. I am very rude to him, can be extremely bad tempered, I throw things, not at him I might add, but I am very continental in my temperament and I like to smash things when I am in a tizz. Of course I'm not like this all of the time and I'm also very affectionate and loving and I also do everything that I can for him.
I am in awe of him. Not only would I find it very difficult to have to physically look after somebody as much as he does me but I really don't think that I could take the badtemperedness and the rudeness. In fact I am sure I would find it frightening. I am fairly certain that this is why he never reacts to me in a way that he knows would frighten me. Just another way in which he really does think of me. He understands my past and its effect upon me and so he would understand that certain behaviour towards me would frighten me and would cause serious trust issues between us. This of course makes me feel even more guilty for the fact that I treat him so badly at times. In my defence it can be extremely difficult to remain civil when one is in during unrelenting pain and/or fatigue. However, I am more than well aware that this is no excuse for abusive behaviour and so when I behave really rudely I always apologise. I'm not exactly sure that apologising is enough and the ideal would be to not be rude at all but I can't see me ever succeeding at that.
So this is all that this post is going to be about. My wonderful husband who has stuck by me for 32 years now. Our anniversary is on the seventh of the seventh 2013. It will also be exactly one year after we went through our civil partnership which we fully intend to convert to a full-blown marriage as soon as the law has finished its passage through Parliament.
I have never met anybody who has disliked John. And they nearly all say what a calm and gentle man that he is. I agree completely.
Posted by Knitman at 2:23 pm